IMDb's Terrible Writing

An excerpt from the Jean-Pierre Jeunet biography page, on his film A Very Long Engagement:

It had been one of the most important budgets in French film history and eventually had a good international success and many nominations and awards.

WHAT?

 - Eric T. Voigt

Inception Trailer: Lets Go!

I watched it. I watched it twice. Then I decided I'd go get lunch, and watch it again later. It doesn't show nearly enough to satisfy any part of me, so therefore shows more than enough for my interest in Inception to spike through the roof. Here:

Inception Teaser Trailer

Hans Zimmer's score, which is a few industrial buzzes mixed with strings, rocks the soul. DiCaprio staring at things worriedly makes me feel for him, and I don't even know what peril he's in. Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a hallway fight? Comparisons to The Matrix are unwarranted. This is a different beast. This lives in the realm of something bigger. Something better. I can't wait to see the film, and I want a longer trailer. 

 - Eric T. Voigt

Inglourious Basterds: King of the Jews

One word struck me bluntly across the back of my head about thirty minutes in: dialogue. Inglourious Basterds won me over with everything it had to offer; the kicker was the engaging, thoughtful dialogue. I was once told if I cared so much about dialogue I'd be better off leaving film and going into radio. Needless to say I was appalled. Lucky me Quentin Tarantino provides the finest examples of dialogue's importance time and time again. 

All of his films carry a certain special magic in the character interactions; Basterds goes not just the extra mile with that, it goes all the way to the moon and back. The level of tension, humor and horror stem from the dialogue, and blossom explosively across the screen. I could hug it I liked it so. Favorite dialogue-heavy portions of Basterds include the opening sequence, a sequence in a restaurant, and a sequence in a basement/tavern. It wasn't the bullets and blood that drove this, it was the carefully placed words. 

What dialogue would be worth anything without actors to dish it out? The talent in Basterds is strongest in its writing, and its acting. Massive piles of buzz surround Christoph Waltz and his portrayal of "The Jew Hunter" Hans Landa, and it's earned in full. Some speculate he'll be up for a Best Actor nomination, and I'd push for him to win the award twice. He was very, very good. Calculating, cruel, but human at the center of his black heart. Without a doubt my favorite performance of the film.

Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine is entertaining, his Nazi-bashing quips and wartime tomfoolery giving a healthy dose of humor, but Pitt's ham-filled performance is lacking nothing but subtlety and nuance. They're supposed to be missing, sure, but it'd have been nice to see them. No need to worry, though, because Melanie Laurent (Shosanna Dreyfus) playing the admirable revenge-minded Jew-in-hiding, Michael Fassbender (Archie Hicox) starring as a charming but obviously British Basterd ally, and the rest of the Basterds more than taking up the slack that Pitt may provide. Smaller roles like Sylvester Groth as Joseph Goebbles and Jacky Ido as Shosanna's lover Marcel were equally strong, and Daniel Bruhl (Fredrick Zoller) leaping between cute, annoying and deplorable was quite excellent. 

Tarantino has always been praised for his soundtracks, and I never gave this much thought until Basterds. Excluding an almost poorly chosen David Bowie sounding like Johnny Cash track the music, anachronistic as it is, fits seamlessly, and helped keep the more jarring hard cuts from taking the audience out of the picture. I've heard the film criticized for sloppy editing. I disagree. Tarantino is no slouch, and intends exactly what is seen. 

Speaking of what is seen, Robert Richardson's photography kicks about as much ass as the Basterds. From cold colors to flaming theatres and laughing faces stretched across smoke Richardson captures it all crisply and handsomely. Wide angles dropping off into out-of-focus haze, sharp close-ups of delicious desserts, all magnificently on display.

Story and action/violence don't take a back seat in Basterds as much as I'm making them out to. The story is compelling and mapped out masterfully, I thought.  The action sequences are nearly too much to bear. In a particularly tense scene involving a finger and a bullet wound I found myself writhing uncomfortably in my seat. Even when the violence is played for laughs it certainly doesn't downplay how terrible it is and drives home hard the horrors of war. Until the last moments of the film, that is, in which we're supposed to revel at a theatre full of Nazi's being massacred. 

Revel I did. Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds is my favorite film of 2009 thus far, and I don't think its going to drop very far from that position come the end of the year. Bravo for rewriting World War II the way we wish it had gone. See it.

 - Eric T. Voigt, Nazis Are the Worst

Prediction: Avatar Will Blow Our Minds (By Not Being Mind-Blowing Enough)

James Cameron thinks he's so tough. He's going out there, telling us he's revolutionizing cinema, making 3D much more than a gimmick, and telling a good story while he's at it. Who does he think he is? An audacious director? A blow-hard? All of the above? 

San Diego's ComicCon premiered about 25 minutes of Avatar, Cameron's sci-fi epic, and garnered reports ranging from "this is the best thing of my life" to "meh". Just yesterday the first trailer debuted. The world went nuts. All the blogs were buzzing. Nerds shook hands with theatre projectionists. I shrugged, and went back to reading the description to Inception's soon coming teaser trailer.

Avatar Teaser Trailer

The music is terrible, the one line of dialogue is puzzling, scenes aren't cut together well at all, and the sense of wonder and mystique intended wasn't executed like I think it hoped for. James Cameron thinks he has a masterpiece on his hands, when I think he has a pretty conventional fantasy film on his hands. I wasn't, and am not impressed yet. 

Except by one thing: that was almost entirely computer generated. The Na'vi have a rubbery look to their skin in a few clips, and the more monstrous beasts feel 10,000 BC caliber, but the environment is just as fake and looks as believable and real as the trees right outside my window. For that I'll go see it. And for the event of it all.

 - Eric T. Voigt, Buh Duh Duh

Darren Aronofsky: Miracle Worker

I haven't written in a while. My thoughts have either been too scattered to get down completely, or the films I've watched haven't stirred up enough gumption in me, or I've been busy working/making up for lost time in the real world. I've been gone. What could possibly bring me out of hiding? This:

Natalie Portman is going to have sex with Mila Kunis in a Darren Aronofsky film. 

If I ever needed a sign telling me that my interest in film is a completely valid obsession it would be that sentence. Natalie Portman is going to have sex with Mila Kunis in a Darren Aronofsky film. I know, I said it already, but I'm... I'm just so happy. 

Darren Aronofsky is on the fast track towards my valued "favorite directors" circle, his The Wrestler one of my 'Best Film's last year, and his other three films satisfying me quite a bit more than others this Summer. To hear that he's going to have Natalie Portman, one of my favorite actresses and one of the most attractive I've yet seen, having sex with Mila Kunis, who isn't a great actress but is still way cute, warms my heart and other various organs to no end.

Am I getting this through clearly enough? Here. Let me help. 

Natalie Portman

is going to have sex with

Mila Kunis

and that

 is 

awesome.

It's like the perfect melding of film geek porn and real porn!

 - Eric T. Voigt, Hoorah!

New York, You're Alright

Yeah, you heard me.

It looks like what "meh" sounds like. Speaking of sound, why does it seem like someone dropped an outdated boombox into a fish tank playing "1901" at half volume, recorded it, then edited it under the trailer? Ew!

Overall though, I will probably maybe but most likely not be seeing this in theaters. I don't really need to see "meh" for 90 minutes.

Alex Deaton - bbbooorrreeeddd

New Where The Wild Things Are trailer!

Here!

Please download in HD. For your own good.

Alex Deaton - 's heart is currently melting

Funny People: Dick Jokes and Death

Alright, alright, I'll say it: Funny People was pretty good. My expectations were basically met, and Judd Apatow seems excruciatingly pleased with the end result. The movie had a swell number of laughs, and managed to swing the tone from 'humor' to 'somber' well enough, but when it didn't it destroyed itself. 

Anyone familiar with the director's cut of The 40-Year-Old Virgin has the right to agree with me when I say Apatow doesn't quite know what's worth keeping in a film, or even what needs to be captured on film in the first place. Funny People suffers from one thing especial, and that thing is time. A few scenes dragged on a bit past their stay, and about 30 minutes from the end my mind started to wonder. I was yanked back in, but I want to be fully engaged when I'm watching a movie, and with this I was not. 

Leslie Mann was also a problem. I thought she was the absolute least sympathetic character to ever snag the coveted 'love interest' role. Adam Sandler's George Simmons is supposed to be madly in love with her, and she with him despite her established married life, but their chemistry is all over the place, and the motivation behind all her feelings felt half there, half unformed. The whole triangle she, Sandler and Eric Bana had going on was a failure, and with a few cuts it might have seemed more comfortable, and more realistic. 

Seth Rogen owns the film, by the way. His performance is definitely worth having seen. The whole movie is worth seeing, as it managed to be adequate, but it left me with one gnawing question: is Apatow less funny than his collaborators? Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Pineapple Express, all with his producing hand but no writing or directing, run circles around Funny People comedically and emotionally. 

Maybe he's writing at a different level of maturity, or maybe he thinks he is, but Funny People, though it hit the spot, didn't hit it hard enough, and has caused me to type "but" quite a bit. Well done, but not the best done.

 - Eric T. Voigt, Beats

Fantastic Mr. Fox: It Happened

I have no idea what this comic means, but it happened.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is here.

TRAILER

Time for me to have a joy-filled heartattack.

A Coen Brother trailer, then a Wes Anderson trailer. In the same day. It's like karma or something. Fantastic Mr. Fox looks and sounds every bit as awesome as I imagined it would be. Heavier on the slap-stick, heavier on the child-friendly. George Clooney's voice fits great, Bill Murray sounds like he's going to be the tops, and I'm already ga-ga for Jason Schwartzman's character Ash. Terrific. Or dare I say it: fantastic? No. No, that's stupid.

- Eric T. Voigt, Attacked

A Serious Man, October 2nd, 2009

It is now trailer time.

A Serious Man Trailer

Happy-go-lucky? Care-free? A laugh riot? Definitely.

If Joel and Ethan Coen decided they were going to make five feature films every month for the rest of their lives it still wouldn't be enough. I appreciate one a year, don't get me wrong, but there should always be more. More of their bleak worlds and tender humor. More scoring from Carter Burwell. More shooting from Roger Deakins. Give me more.

But this'll hit the spot nicely.

- Eric T. Voigt, Rushin' It

News Which Sadly Caused Me To Gasp From Excitement: Ray Tintori Directing a Spike Jonze Production

Spike Jonze directed Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, presented The Fall and produced Synecdoche, New York, on top of just having finished Where the Wild Things Are. One of my favorite film makers, responsible for so many good things in and coming into this world.

Ray Tintori directed two short films: Death to the Tinman and Jettison Your Loved Ones. He also directed a few fantastic music videos for MGMT, The Killers and Chairlift, and co-wrote the adorably post-apocalyptic short Glory at Sea. I wrote a short article a while back on how enthused I was about him, and in what dire need the world was for a full-out feature from the boy.

According to /Film, who almost never lies to me, Spike Jonze bought up the rights to a book by Shane Jones called Light Boxes, and Ray Tintori is set to direct it.

When I heard this news I looked like so:

And as the news sank in I looked like so:

I rule in favor of this news. All opposed? Is this how court works? Regardless, Ray Tintori is directing a Spike Jonze production of a book "about a mysterious town that endures a long, deadly winter. Told in short bursts, the story concerns the war the townspeople bring against February, an oddly real and powerful character" says Amazon.com. Even better was the Wikipedia synopsis: "a fantasia about a war waged by a group of balloonists against the seemingly endless month of February." This is going to rock out with the power of fifty cocks out.

- Eric T. Voigt, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Pantless

MMMMM #3

Time for me to get girlie. One of my favorite movies of all time is Pretty in Pink, because A) it is a girlie love story of a movie, B) it is a classic 80's John Hughes with the bolo tie fashions I've grown to love, and C) it has an amazing soundtrack. 

The greatest part of the film which causes me to rewind and watch over and over again is Duckie's lip-synced rendition of Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness". 

Jon Cryer (whom has since disappointed me) was perfect as the nerdy cool guy, the "hipster" of his day, and admittedly caused me to swoon. There's just something classic and wonderful about dancing around a record shop to one of the greatest voices of all time that makes me wish I worked at Trax after school. 

Anyone who listens to "Try a Little Tenderness" without dancing around where ever they happen to be at that time is either crazy or just has really good self control. And a tip for filmmakers, throw an Otis Redding song in the mix, and I will love your film unconditionally no matter what. Tip of the hat to you John Hughes, tip of the hat.

***Brianna Wellen

A 100% PROFESSIONAL REVIEW OF 'THE HURT LOCKER'

It was good. Really good. There were explosions. And suspense. Also, good performances and philosophical discussions. In a war movie! (I know!)

Go see it.

Special Alert!

I hate to do this, but the very special interview with Ted Borodaeff, the mime from Transformers 2 was pushed a few posts back, even though it was just finished today. So scroll down a bit!

-Kevin Kern, seriously considering not contributing to this blog anymore so read that interview and make it count

I Seriously Thought Eric Would Have Posted These By Now

UPDATE: There's a whole new gaggle of photos I don't want to upload, so I'll just link to them.

Here

But I guess I can do it for him. More Fantastical Foxy-Woxy photos that make the first one look, creepier?

We all remember this interesting little picture, don't we? It's a little wider this time around and doesn't have that obnoxious watermark. Alright, soak it in. 

Are you ready? Here we go!

Ahhhhh, this is what I've been waiting to see. Animals in ski-masks? Mr. Fox sporting a double-breasted corduroy blazer? Sign me up. 

And finally

Oh, Mr. Fox, you sly sly devil, you. You sharply dressed vegtable-stalking, coy-talking, upright-walking sonuvabitch. Can't wait to see you on the big screen.

Alex Deaton - Likes Wes Anderson, but doesn't have a blood-sacrifice shrine in his closet like Eric and Brianna

I Don't Want More Tron, Grandma

Flashback to the Summer of 2006. On a hot, muggy day a boy crouches near his small, inadequate RCA television and eyes the cover of Disney's Tron skeptically. He looks towards the tower of other DVDs checked out from the library: Reservoir Dogs, The Godfather, Barton Fink. He turns to Tron but once more, grimaces, and pops it in. The teen sulks back to the couch, possibly shirtless, and begins watching what was apparently revolutionary in 1982.

The child fidgets and yawns through roughly 24 minutes before shutting it off in a vengefully bored stupor. Cut to three years later. The boy is now a boy, but in college, and has spent a great deal of his life trying to set aside the disappointment and shame earned from the viewing of the first Tron. He is almost brought to tears when he realizes he must refer to Tron as the first, because he has unfortunately learned that over two decades after the original's release a sequel is in the works. I am that boy.

The least exciting/most exciting moment in Tron

I didn't like Tron even a little bit. It tore out my joy like it had something to prove. The story was about as gripping as faulty velcro, and the acting was as good as faulty velcro. The special effects made me sad to be alive. The world felt so vast and artificial it tricked me into thinking I had agoraphobia for 5 full minutes. The knowledge that Tron Legacy is coming feels like icing on a cake of cement. I hate eating cement. 

The sneak peek at what Tron Legacy has to offer shows off just how far light-cycle races haven't come, how ugly new technology can be, and a creepy demonstration of Jeff Bridges ability to kill a man with a frisbee. I want this movie like I want a hole in the back of your head. Enjoy.

Tron Legacy Teaser

 - Eric T. Voigt, Computer Worlds Are Laaaaame

Nicolas Cage Is A Dish Best Served Cold

Take a look at this face:

That's Nicolas Cage. He's starred in over fifty films, and has seven projects in various levels of production deep into 2011. He's also one of the most disrespected, criticized, laughed at, mocked, harassed, and derided men in Hollywood. Did I mention he gets made fun of? With such bad-mouthing you'd think he was Carlos Mencia. And that guy sucks.

Why is a man who has worked with the likes of Martin Scorsese and Ridley Scott, earning himself more money than you or I will ever dare to think of thinking about, considered such a bad actor? It's because Nicolas Cage is a very specific breed of actor who should star in very few movies.

For some reason or another Cage has been pegged as the go-to guy for adventure thrillers. He's forced to play the hero, and the every-man sort of hero we're all of us supposed to get behind. It's a very common archetype. There's a problem with this:

Nicolas Cage isn't an archetype; he's Nicolas Fucking Cage!

Time to play Good Cage, Bad Cage, where I'll explain why Cage is so good when he's good, and the worst person alive when he's bad.

Good Cage: 

In 1987 Nicolas Cage was given the honor of playing leading man H. I. McDunnough in Joel and Ethan Coen's sophomore film Raising Arizona. He played the hell out of it. He wasn't an anti-hero, but he wasn't someone worth rooting for. He was a dirty, fairly stupid hillbilly who just wanted to make his wife happy and raise a baby that wasn't his. Watch him escape the cops! He was off the wall, but he was adorable, and Raising Arizona shines as a beacon of hope to all those who would otherwise write Cage off. The amount of lunacy he exuded perfectly here would be his downfall in later years. Take, for instance, Gone in Sixty Seconds.

Bad Cage:

So now he's a car thief. A step down from Huggies. And is that Robert Duvall? Before this wasCon Air, and Face/Off, and although I've never seen those I've heard rumor they're terrible, and along with them Gone in Sixty Seconds was a good start to Cage's dangerously stupid run of career moves. Who makes a movie with Dominic "Swordfish" Sena? Watch him talk to his car and escape the cops! Seriously, what the hell is going on with everything in that scene? It isn't even so much his acting in this, but the fact that he was in this movie, that makes this such a Bad Cage. People think his hair is bad now? Anything is better than blonde. IncludingAdaptation.

Good Cage:

Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman are so hardcore they decided to cram TWO Nicolas Cages into Adaptation. That's right, not only does Nicolas Cage play Charlie Kaufman, he plays his/Charlie's own twin, who doesn't actually exist in real life. Blows your mind. Watch him get pissy about film! See, the mark of a Good Cage isn't that he happens to stumble into a decent film, it's that he adds to the film's decency. Which he does here. What a Bad Cage does is either totally destroy a film, or simply fill the shoes that anyone else in the entire world could have filled. Like in Next, World Trade Center, Bangkok Dangerous, and National Treasure 1 and 2.

Bad Cage:

I think National Treasure is where Cage decided if crime thrillers weren't going to ruin his credibility fast enough it was time to give action adventure movies a chance. It worked wonders. Not only did Cage sell out to Disney, he also kind of took exactly the same role Tom Hanks would later in The DaVinci Code: guy knowledgeable about stuff getting involved in ridiculously dangerous adventures pertaining to their field of knowledge. I wish that was more succinct. Watch him become part of the scenery! He continues down this path in Next, World Trade Center and Bangkok Dangerous sort of, but what gets people really riled up about Cage is The Wicker Man.

So Bad It's Awesome Cage:

Okay, if someone hasn't seen The Wicker Man compilation now is the time to do it. Please, please, hold your applause. There isn't much to be said about The Wicker Man performance aside from this: fuh? I don't know if anyone knew what they were doing when they were working on this project, but if they did know what they were doing they were very mean people. And the same can probably be said for Ghost Rider. 

Bad Cage:

Watch him try to play a superhero! Nicolas Cage doesn't get it. He shouldn't save people. He should just be. That's what he's best at. In Raising Arizona he was. In Adaptation he was. Twice. And he was, and very much so, in The Weather Man.

Good Cage:

Why couldn't he play a superhero with a bow? Because when Cage is a leading man he should be an average person with minor problems, or an insane person, but he shouldn't be a brave and heroic person without any problems. It's too easy, and that ruins him. With The Weather Man Cage's character isn't even well liked. Watch him fail! He's weak and unconfident, his family sort of steps all over him, and he's awesome in it. Give him some problems and he'll work wonders. Just remember how badass he's going to be in Herzog's Bad Lieutenant: Port of Calls New Orleans. 

My points here all add up to one thing: Nicolas Cage, when not playing a hero and when backed up by ample directing and writing, can and will give a great performance. For every Knowingand 8MM there is also an Adaptation lurking in the shadows. Plus I've heard nothing but good things on his role in the upcoming movie Kick-Ass, and he gets to work with Michel Gondry and Seth Rogen in The Green Hornet. I've got my fingers crossed for a solid Cage in both of those. 

 - Eric T. Voigt, Found Listening to The Knife While Watching Nicolas Cage Enjoyable

NEW FOOTAGE FROM "WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE"

GO NOW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

HERE, DAMMIT!

There you go, and yes, you are welcome.

Alex Deaton - Only slightly excited.

The Anticipation Builds

After a hiatus from the blogosphere I bring joyous news of Funny People. I have seen the behind the scenes special and I am craving for next week to be here.

The scenes that will be seen in the movie of stand up comedians are actual stand up routines written by the actors for their character. Was your mind just blown? They took a show on the road picking up a few real comedians on the way such as Sarah Silverman and David Spade. So all that stand up footage, real stand up. As an amatuer in the film making world, I'm not sure if that's done often, but I appreciate it regardless.

I'm really liking the concept after seeing a few interviews of how much of Adam Sandler's character is based on Adam Sandler himself. It will give a nice retrospective and insight to him, a deepness we've seen in movies like Reign Over Me and Spanglish while keeping the goofiness that made him famous. I'm excited to see Seth Rogen keep on keeping on in the same personality that I love so dearly and I'm extra excited to see Jason Schwartzman. For a special treat before the movie is out please HULU "Behind the Scenes with Mark Taylor Jackson" and watch the coinciding videos to see Jason Schwartzman as his Funny People character in the uplifting TV show "Yo Teach!". Love it.

So cinemaphiles, I better see you all in theaters next week for Funny People. Because if this movie is only half as good as what I hope, it will be amazing.


***Brianna Wellen

An Interview with the Quietest Thing About Transformers 2

Recently, Eric wrote a review of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, and in it he mentioned a mime. The mime in question (Ted Borodaeff) responded to the review in the comments section, and since then I've interviewed him (via e-mail) about his experience with the film. 

 

KK: How did you land your role as the mime in Transformers 2?

TB: I was called by the Philly casting director for Transformers 2 Heery Casting and asked to submit first off a photo of me as a mime. Then I actually went in and they took photos of me done up as a mime. Pics were taken by Jason Loftus CSA. They were then submitted to The director of Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen. I don’t know how many were submitted as some were in mime poses, and about a week later I was asked to work on the film.  I actually am a trained MIME. There are people in the business that actually know that. I also don’t know how many if any others were considered, but I would assume they were.

KK: How much did you know about the film and its director before showing up to work?

TB: Before showing up for the film, I knew about Michael Bay from his prior work, Transformers and Pearl Harbor and of course Bad Boys.  I also actually knew of him as he had done music videos. I am sure he knew nothing of me. I knew of him because of Meat Loaf and Tina Turner really. Then his movies. I also knew him vaguely as an actor.

As to the script I only was told I was in a scene where ultimately I would be chased away.  As I knew before and after, you get to know very little of his film before the filming begins and even in a scene you know only what you need to know, thus attempting to keep it from leaking before the release of the project.

KK: In the comments section for an earlier post on this blog, you mentioned that your part was very brief following the edit. How did you envision the scene before you saw the finished product?

TB: There actually are a number of copies of the film online, which strikes me as being odd that they were not deleted by Paramount or Dreamworks, but in this day and age they may have leaked them. But obviously someone inside did as I just watched a version where I am from 64 minutes 55 seconds to actually 66.08 seconds.

In this edit I am right in Kevin Dunn’s face and he says he will f’ing punch me and he says mimes freak me out then I go off and perform around the café, with cameras on me I believe most all the time.  In this edit you see me a couple tables away also miming a rope from the sky so to speak as I am lowered to the ground.

In the theater Kevin Dunn said, "will you get out of here?" and Julie White said, "Mimes freak me out."

I actually thought the scene would be at least a couple minutes, as we shot lots of footage. I envisioned the maitre d' serving them lunch as he did. I envisioned me at the table taunting Mr Witwicky. I was not really taunting, but when he threatened to hit me it was like you wouldn’t do that to a mime and I stuck around until Mr. Bay said I should leave.  In this edit Kevin and I were almost touching noses. He [Kevin Dunne] emphatically told me he liked a couple of the takes very much.  As a mime we not only show facial expressions, but they do hopefully reflect the inner soul.

Then as I said I went to the next table with an incredibly beautiful woman whom I was sure would be in the final edit, therefore so would I be in more of the scene.

Next I went in front of the 4 piece orchestra who had been brought in I believe from Cleveland School of Symphony or something like that.  Rather well known school really.

There was more going on between the Witwickys before the next big scene which I don’t want to divulge for those who have not seen the film. I hope the unseen footage makes the DVD. So to answer the question succinctly, at least 1.5 minutes or so. And in this film 1.5 minutes would have been long for anyone but the robots and the main stars.

Even in the brief scene. I am rather noticeable and even more so on IMAX.

KK: In that same comment, you mentioned you were a student of Marcel Marceau's. What was it like working with such a legendary figure?

TB: I was with an acting coach in 1999 while I was still an active Certified Public Accountant and she received a call from an international businessman who needed a silent clown for his brother's wedding. Specifically, he was the best man and ultimately he told me he needed me to mime his speech to his brother and his wife. I realized I knew nothing about being a mime. I rented the film Les Enfant du Paradis from 1945 with Jean-louis Barrault and Etienne Decroux. Decroux was a teacher of Marceau. I watched and the practice of walking in place and some of the other physicality needed to be a beginner.  I had been and still was a martial artist and teacher of [martial arts]. I had studied gymnastics and had decent knowledge of my body. I performed for 250 people. That man paid me triple what I asked for as he said it was incredible. I felt like I knew nothing and needed to know more.

True story: two weeks later I was studying with Marcel Marceau in New York City and then in Ann Arbor Michigan, then with two of his incredible students, Greg Goldston and Victoria La Balme. Marcel Marceau was the living master really. In private conversation he as well as I believe there is a much higher master. He was one of the most endearing, giving and funniest men I have ever met, both to myself and everyone else. I learned much from him, but I also learned something I had to break through and that at first was almost preventing me from performing. Then I realized he was my teacher. I am not Marceau. I am also a dancer. I was asked a week ago if I could dance like Michael Jackson. I had to say, "Michael was really beyond words to me but I am not Michael." Marceau was a genius in many many ways. To myself a real giver of light. I had seen him 50 years ago when he was first on The Red Skelton Show if you know who he is. 

I would never in a million years have thought I would study with Marceau or be a Mime in a Hollywood film or perform as a mime like character at The Blobfest in Phoenixville, Pa celebrating the movie The Blob or be working on a new silent show. I also went to the UK and studied what we call corporeal mime with two disciples so to speak, the last two assistants to Etienne Decroux. Marceau always said, I can teach you technique or try to, but I can not teach you how to act. That does come from us."

KK: How did Michael Bay behave on set?

TB: Michael Bay was rather focused on his work, and not to be out of line, but I bet he was focused on a few of the extras, as was I. He was rather to the point with me. He referred to me as Mr. Mime, which is my name in the script. He very succinctly told me what he expected of me in the scene, talked more at length with Kevin and Julie then let the cameras roll. After the first take he gave me an adjustment, was rather easy with it and had nothing more to say for the next number of takes.  Kevin Dunn gave me a little direction of his own as I am right in his face. Almost touching. He also let me know he liked what I did, especially in one of the takes. It had to do with the internal being expressed in my face. Julie White was rather quiet doing her job. It is my interpretation, but there was a piece of clothing Judy Witwicky shows her husband in the scene. It does not make the cut. Michael Bay did comment on whether or not it exceeded the budget. Is that an astute businessman or is it a penny pincher on a mega million dollar project? I haven't the answer. But since I have yet to be upgraded, I have my prejudices. All in all he seems to be rather focused on the order of the day. He has a lot to keep together. It was really rather cool to work that close with him.

KK: What do you think of the film as a whole?

TB: The film was mindless. The film was action packed. The film had way too much US military. The film went on way too long about pot brownies. The film really had nothing to say to me. All is cured because Megan said the L Word. Damn most of the world hasn't a clue what love is anyway. It's just another 4 letter word. I need, I want, It's mine, you're mine. I want to f you, there are many more for it. Things like the soldier in football paint...weird. BUT BUT BUT I have a short attention span and I did see it twice. Once on IMAX once on the regular screen. THE FILM HELD MY ATTENTION>> MADE ME FORGET ABOUT LIFE>> I DID NOT JUDGE IT WHILE IT WAS ON>>IT REALLY ENTERTAINED ME>  IT DID ITS JOB>  WAS the acting good? Great? I think that answers itself.  Some special effects could have gone further really. But this is retrospective critique. I could actually watch it again. It definitely is no Gone with The Wind, MIRACLE IN MILAN:(WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE NOT>ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES) It was not Fellini or Bergman nor could Michael Bay Ever Ever be. He is no Scorcese, He is no Tim Burton. I'd still see it again on DVD on A big screen TV.

KK: Do you have any upcoming projects we should look out for?

TB: I am working on a silent show, Dance Mime Silent Clown. 

MMMMM 2nd Edition

This moment is memorable not because of a film it was in, but because of it's association with one of the greatest and most interesting directors of our time. I'll let you take in the moment and let it speak for itself for a moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ULVQOneeZE&feature=fvw

Spike Jonze and Fatboy Slim. An obvious combination really once you view the video. This quirky director danced in front of this movie theater often to Fatboy Slim songs (or at least one time other than this) and it earned him Fatboy's favor. After shooting this amazing "dance attack" as I like to call it Fatboy Slim made this his official music video for the song. Well done Spike Jonze, well done.


***Brianna Wellen

MMMMM

Music and movies go hand in hand and the greatest film makers can balance the two so perfectly that even if a film itself is wretched, there may be a scene worth salvaging because of the marriage of image and sound. So let me introduce to you ladies and gentlemen my new daily segment, Most Memorable Music Moments in Movies. (this is a working title, suggestions are welcome)

Wes Anderson's films are breeding grounds for this segment, so let me begin with The Darjeeling Limited. The undeniable Anjelica Huston says it all as she sets the scene, "Maybe we could express ourselves more fully if we say it without words." Cue The Rolling Stones, and "Play With Fire" begins to play.

The song, so full of threat and melancholy yet such a pleasing melody all at the same time, perfectly reflects the mood of the scene to a point where I found myself right in the midst of it all, sitting at that table. This set of actors, Jason Schwartzman, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, and Huston wore their character's emotions so strongly in their eyes, the face on shots really are silently fully expressing themselves without words. I would almost dare to say that I have never been more impressed by silent acting than by this scene.

"Play With Fire" was to me the first time I heard it, an average song by The Rolling Stones, a band I had never cared for much before. This scene placed an entirely new depth of emotion behind the song, a true human connection that causes me to become completely lost in the song and feel and undying urge to watch The Darjeeling Limited. And that my friends is excellent filmmaking.

Happy movie watching cinemaphiles of the world.

***Brianna Wellen

WMCA Volume Nine: Cougartastic

Today's What Miserable Cover Art features artwork that's downright oxymoronic paired with the title:The people at Disney confused the word lonesome with the word badass. That isn't a lonely cougar, that's an awesome cougar nonchalantly casing joints from the comfort of his bright yellow truck, nodding at the rest of the mountain critters as he drives by, an air of sophistication and superiority practically exploding from his fur.

In fact Disney may have confused Charlie with badass, too. If the title read Badass, The Badass Cougar I wouldn't see any reason to fret. It's just a huge stretch of the imagination to see anything gloomy in this handsome devil.

And Badass needs to find friendship? Who do you think is driving the car? Probably fifty-five close friends. I bet a lot of them are hot cougaresses, too. What Badass here is doing is being the best. So now, with all the corrections, this cover should read Badass, The Badass Cougar. Being Awesome Is The Only Thing To Do.

Neat.

- Eric T. Voigt, Shootin' Up

WMCA Volume Eight: Upsetting

The most disappointing collage ever:It- there- but... *sigh*.

- Eric T. Voigt, Flabbergasted

News: Extended Fantastic Mr. Fox Cast

I'm obsessive. I check the IMDB pages of Wes Anderson, Paul Thomas Anderson, Joel and Ethan Coen, Michel Gondry, Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman at least once every one and a half weeks. I wonder who my favorite film makers are, right? Upon checking Wes Anderson's, and looking into the development of Fantastic Mr. Fox I found a newly fleshed out cast list.

This is one of those things that makes the geek center of my brain go crazy. Finding this casting information reminded me of the excitement I felt upon seeing the very first screenshot from The Life Aquatic way back in 2004. It was like unwrapping a Christmas gift I'd been hoping, and begging and praying for all year long. Behold the cast, many recycled from projects before:

George Clooney as Mr. Fox, an Anderson virgin
Meryl Streep as Mrs. Fox, also a virgin
Michael Gambon as Franklin Bean, The Life Aquatic
Bill Murray as Badger, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited
Owen Wilson as Coach Skip, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore (writer), The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited
Helen McCrory as Mrs. Bean, virgin
Willem Dafoe as Rat, The Life Aquatic
Jason Schwartzman as Ash, Rushmore and The Darjeeling Limited
Adrien Brody as Rickity, The Darjeeling Limited
Anjelica Huston, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited
Brian Cox as Boggis, Rushmore
Roman Coppola as Squirrel, The Darjeeling Limited (writer) and second unit director for others
Garth Jennings as Bean's Son, virgin (writer of Son of Rambow)
Jarvis Cocker as Petey, virgin
Wallace Wolodarsky as Kylie, Rushmore and The Darjeeling Limited
Mario Batali as Rabbit, virgin
Eric Chase Anderson as Kristofferson, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic
James Hamilton as Mole, still photographer for others

Listed on a fansite The Rushmore Academy are a few other credits. The list confirms the IMDB list, except for Brian Cox's role, and includes Wes Anderson voicing Weasel, Hugo Guinness voicing Nathan Bunce, Stven Rales voicing Beaver and Jeremy Dawson voicing Beaver's son. All those names can be found attached to crew roles in past Anderson films, so it doesn't seem like they'd be lying... or does it...

Yep. Excited. So much. Mmmm good.

- Eric T. Voigt

WMCA Volume Seven: "Only This Time I'm Gonna Stick My Tongue In Your Mouth, And When I Do That I Want You To Massage My Tongue With Yours."

I'm going to title each What Miserable Cover Art a line from a film. It could be from any film, whether I like it or not, and it could be vastly significant, or completely nonsensical. And if anyone can guess correctly which movie the line is from the guesser will win exactly one prize. 

Moving on, I'd like to acquaint everyone with The Bourne Ultimatum's DVD cover. Say hello, everyone. Say hello, Matt Damon:

Dreadfully drab. A drab blue. And kind of blurry, because fast paced cutting and high-speed action is the Bourne series' thing, and that really comes through in a still picture. It doesn't so much look like he's moving as it does the background was quickly pulled to the right. 

By this, the third in the series, I think we're expected to understand who Jason Bourne is and why he looks so determined, and has a gun. Bourne kicks ass and takes names without knowing his own, and that's why we like the big lug, but this cover doesn't conjure up feelings of admiration, it conjures up feelings of pity. He looks lonely on that sparse cover, and his face has managed to pull off determined and goofy in a stellar one-two expression punch. 

Note the blurb dolling out lofty praise, earning the film's credibility, comes from Maxim. It's hard to read but trust me, I held the box in my hands today, I know it says Maxim. I've never thought of Maxim having the authority to decide which action movie is better than another. I've never thought of Maxim as knowing what action movies were coming out even one decade ago, let alone decades. That's more than twenty years of action movies Bourne is beating out by their standards. 

Let Action Movies Are Awesome Weekly give The Bourne Ultimatum its blurbs, and let Maxim tell me if she is worth ogling: 

Maxim says yes. 

The Bourne Ultimatum doesn't have a terrible cover, but it doesn't have a cover worthy of its charm. I saw this baby in the theatre. I saw its younger brother Supremacy in the theatre, too. A movie with such class and might should have a cover with glitz. The film doesn't have anything to prove, but with a cover so lame it seems like it has negative proving power. 

Good movies should have good covers. Is that so hard to see? 

 - Eric T. Voigt, Silky Smooth

Tom Cruise: Intense Profile

I don't have anything smart or funny to say. "Do you ever?" Shut up! It's just that I noticed this, and it made me smile, and frown, and then I posted.

Firm Cruise


Mission Intense Cruise II

Minority Cruise

Mission Intense Cruise III

Diversity is overrated.

- Eric T. Voigt, Kinda Lazy

WMCA Volume Six: "You Blew It Up! Damn You! God Damn You All To Hell!"

A good half a year back we accused The Haunting in Connecticut to have the worst poster ever. It must not have noticed, because said poster is now the image on every DVD and Blu-ray copy all across this great United States of America. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, worst to worst:

I'm really hard pressed to think of anything worse than this. A kid, obviously experiencing some mild discomfort from his wool jacket, vomiting solid gold in space, set against a nondescript stone wall, proclaiming proudly "based on true events." Get a hobby, The Haunting in Connecticut, and stop bothering the rest of us with your despicably half-assed marketing. I had to look at this every day I walked to class for about two months, and now I have to fear finding it in my local Target, Blockbuster, and maybe even on Netflix? You're the worst. 

If The Haunting in Connecticut received the poster-to-cover treatment I would like to put in a request for The Hurt Locker:

Mmm mmm. Now that's what I'd like to see every day for two months.

 - Eric T. Voigt, Can't Stress The Displeasure Enough

Castrating Trailers

A physics lesson: movie studios enjoy making money. They make money for fun, and they make money to survive. They release movies to make money. A movie makes money for a studio when people go see the movie in theatres, buy copies of the movie, or sell the rights to the movie to other money-hungry entities like television stations, publishing companies, and smaller studios. If a lot of people see a movie that movie will make a lot of money in turn. The more money a movie makes the more money a studio makes.

Why do people see movies? To be entertained. How do they know they want to be entertained by a certain movie? If they hear from people they trust that they'll like it, or if they see clips of the movie that amuse or enlighten them. What is an easy way to see many brief glimpses at a movie? Through the art of the trailer, anywhere from one second to over three minutes long, revealing moments from a movie that are meant to encourage people to become interested in the movie, and pay money to see more of it. Physics. 

Certain trailers are cut to appeal to certain audiences. A trailer made for, say, Away We Go is cut together to indie music, and presents scenes from the film that are amusing and touching, so you're already invested in the characters and hope to see more of the same in the full feature. A movie like Transformers 2 shows off the flashy computer graphics and massive explosions because they want people to come to the movie to see giant transforming robots beat the hell out of each other. They don't show the 30 minutes of exposition and military jargon because no one wants to see a movie for that. I'm being longwinded, but stick with me, I'm going somewhere.

Jennifer's Body was written by Diablo Cody, directed by Karyn Kusama, and stars Megan Fox. It has two trailers: the Red Band trailer cut for a more 'mature' audience and the Green Band trailer cut to appeal to tweens and the general public. The Red Band is allowed to have more profane language, bloodier violence, and had the power to sell the movie. See for yourself:

Jennifer's Body Red Band

Jennifer's Body Lame Band

The Green Band Trailer is not only safer for children, it is safe from anyone who could have been interested in the movie's Red Band aspects. The Red trailer included a sense of humor, a better, more elaborate look at the story, better music, and what I hope was a sound representation of the movie. The Green plays up the horror, sticks with the generic suspense music before shifting into watered down heavy metal as opposed to the fun energy The Waitresses' "I Know What Boys Like" brought in the Red, and the trailer makes the film seem boring. 

I'm not a Diablo Cody defender. I thought Juno's gotta-be-hip-gotta-be-witty dialogue was tiresome and barely funny for most of the movie, and think despite a few good performances wasn't able to lift itself out of the screenplay to become a good film. Sure, sure, she isn't to blame for the sets, or the music, or the direction, but she had a heavy weigh-in on the film. As for Jennifer's Body, I'm interested. I was interested in Juno, yes, but the dialogue seems to flow better in this, a campier, self-aware film than Juno ended up being. I think it has what it takes to be at least pretty entertaining. At least, that's what the Red Band trailer is having me believe.

The Green Band trailer for Jennifer's Body is an out-and-out castration of the first. It slices it open, and leaves it shriveled and impotent. Had I seen the Green before the Red I'd have had absolutely no faith in the film. It doesn't look funny, it doesn't look smart, it doesn't look good, damn it. It looks like I'd never see that in my life, that Green Band's interpretation. How is that a smart marketing move? See, I'm connecting what I said earlier to what I'm saying now. I think the release of such a soulless trailer next to the meatier, interesting trailer is a god awful plan. Most people, at least most people who would want to see the movie, wouldn't appreciate the Green anywhere like they would the Red, but many of those people will never see the Red Band trailer if they don't frequent film sites, or see any of the shit Fox has to release the Red with. 

There are plenty of films that have released perfectly adequate Red and Green trailers. Funny People and Observe and Report, recently. Most anything produced by Judd Apatow, ever. Why did this have to happen to Jennifer's Body? And why is it that she isn't alone in this treatment?

I saw the Green Band trailer for The Goods and nearly spit at my computer in disgust. It didn't look funny, and it felt like it had the potential to suck humor out of the world, leaving giant holes of sadness and anger where the once was mirth and joy. Then I watched The Goods according to Red Band, and things got better.

The Goods Red Band

The Goods Painfully Bad Band

Sure they both have severely unfunny Pearl Harbor jokes, but the Red Band tries to make something of it. I may actually see The Goods thanks to the Red Band.

What are marketers thinking with this craziness over here? Give the people a fair look at both movies, not vastly different, good versus bad trailers. I've made my peace. You have three days. 

 - Eric T. Voigt, Knows What He's Having