Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gamer: More Like 'Lamer'! Am I Right?

A man determined not to let that explosion beat him in epicness. 

The tried-and-true plot of a corrupt futuristic government leaving prisons to pit their inmates against each other/the world with the incentive of letting them free if they kill enough of each other/innocent citizens is back again, put proudly on display in Gamer. But this time video game nerds are in control of the prisoners, and they fight each other, and if they survive more than thirty individual games they get let off death row, because murderers go there. Perfect candidates for the playing of games and being given the option of freedom.

When are future societies going to learn that when you allow killers to let their imaginations run wild in the confines of structured violence they're eventually going to try and break through, or beat the system. Or one prisoner, just one, will actually be innocent, so they'll try super hard to win. I mean, it happened in Death Race. And Death Race 2000. And The Running Man. And Gladiator. And what feels like fifty other titles. 

There's a trailer.

Whoa explosions! And a poster.

Whoa stupid poster! 

The partnership of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, co-writers, co-directors and co-friends responsible for Crank, whatever the hell Pathology is, and Crank 2: The Incredible Zombie Statham, is being high heralded. I haven't watched any Cranks, but I'm told they're highly entertaining as far as insane action movies go, and I know playing a drinking game around the shots incorporating fish-eye lenses would please many a frathouse, so ignoring how little I know about these guys outside of trailers this movie looks terrible. The premise sounds terrible. The acting looks terrible, even from Dexter. I'm not going to see this. But I'm going to talk about it.

 - Eric T. Voigt, Started This Way Too Early Now It's Time for Fiery Furnaces

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