Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Lots of Adorable News: Pros and Cons

I go off the grid for a weekend and this is how film news repays me? Having lots of itself? Did I offend it in some way? There's too much to talk about. And I'm not at Columbia anymore, so I can't spout off about it any time I please. I have to let it out in short, controlled bursts. And here. This shall become my realm. 

There was so much news it was hard to tell what was important and what wasn't. Most of it wasn't, it seems. But of the news that was important, some was good news, and some was bad. Most of it seems to be good news. 

The Cannes Opening Ceremony is available online with clips from a variety of films playing at this years festival, starting at 15:40 and running until 22:30 in. The most interesting clips, meaning the clips from the films that look like I'd care about them, come from Thirst, Antichrist, Broken Embraces, Inglourious Basterds, Enter the Void, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and Map of the Sounds of Tokyo. It's definitely worth checking out, for all the clips, because it's fun to judge other countries by their filmic standards. 

Writer Vikas Swarup, author of the novel Q&A, basis for cliche-fest Slumdog Millionaire, is getting a second book adapted for the world of cinema. The book Six Suspects will be screen-written by John Hodge, who apparently wrote Trainspotting and Shallow Grave, two of my most favorite Danny Boyle films. Why does this matter? Well, if the Six Suspects movie is anything like Slumdog, I'll be disappointed. If it's anyting like Trainspotting I'll be ecstatic. No director yet, so this news is neither pro nor con, just interesting.

El Orfanato director Juan Antonio Bayona and writer Sergio Sanchez are apparently in the beginning stages of another collaboration which was been called "absolutely unique" in regards to the films visual aspects. I'd say this is good news, because El Orfanato was a solid thriller with aspects of mysticism, and did look fairly awesome. The story is coming out of true life events, but I'm hoping to see some integrating of the spiritual world in there. 

New Wuthering Heights film will not live up to the Kate Bush music video. Directed by the jerk responsible for The Girl with the Pearl Earrings and Hannibal, it's almost certain to leave me completely and utterly uninterested. For shame. 

Jerry Lewis is still alive? He's going to be in a new movie. Whatever.

Thor, famous comic book character and famously uncared about comic book character is getting his own comic book character movie. Yay Thor. Unyay audiences across America. A Thor movie is right up there with an Aquaman movie adaptation when it comes to comic book characters I absolutely do not want to see a movie about. Fucking awful. Chris Hemsworth is playing Thor. I don't know who that is. Ohhh, he played Kirk's dad in Star Trek just this few weeks ago? Good for him. Maybe the movie won't suck, but, maybe it probably will.

Ugh. New documentary about Paris Hilton titled Paris, Not France. What's with her? Can't she deal with being a normal person, outside of the scope of anything culturally relevant? I guess the film actually deals with the question of why anyone has ever given a shit about Paris Hilton, but, there's no need for that. There's a trailer here. It makes it look about as terrible as 'a documentary about Paris Hilton' sounds. 

Some director named Chris Milk did a neat short film for a competition of some sorts. I'm hazy on the details, because I skimmed them. But /film is cool, so they posted it, and I'll link it here

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie has a trailer, and it looks... well, it looks just awful. Robert Downey, Jr. is charismatic, and Jude Law looks like he's giving it his all to be respectable, but Guy Ritchie has a way with utilizing good actors in mediocre ways, and anything of any worth in this trailer is coming only from the talent of the actors. That's it. And why does Ritchie like underground boxing so much? So much does he like underground boxing. 

That about does it. There's a bit more, but I'll talk about those things in greater detail, or, I don't know, never talk about it ever. 

 - Eric T. Voigt, Something Something Time for Arby's

No comments:

Post a Comment