GEEAAGH! That noise should be ripping its way up and out of your throat at the sight of this thing. Aunt Double-Chin's puckered old kisser whistling "my heavens!" over an off-navy sky forebodingly in the background of some of the drabbest looking couples I ever have seen. The good people of Criterion sure do know a lot about framing: nothing. They know nothing about framing. Auntie Fattingsberg dominates monstrously over in the right, leaving the bright white upper left clammering for a way to escape, and leaving the stars of the film sort of completely out-bid for attention.
Who wants this displayed next to their otherwise tasteful-looking films? No one. No one wants that.
Tune in tomorrow when I try and bring you the cover to a I Know What You Did Last Summer sequel. The grammar is out of this world.
- Eric T. Voigt, Back To The Library Grind