Thursday, July 9, 2009

WMCA Volume Three: Suck Angels

What Miserable Cover Art doesn't only attack the upper-crust Criterioners and b-movie horror. It attacks films somewhere in between, too. Like David Gordon Green's Snow Angels:

I'll let that sink in for a moment. There's Kate Beckinsale's big, bleached-out face. A little tagline that kinda relates to angels in general, but in no way to snow angels, or the film. In boring, awkwardly placed Helvetica we see the starring names. The splitting up of the top and bottom is puzzling. Near the bottom we get a little screenshot with the saturation sucked out of it. Meh. Looks kind of like a made-for-TV movie, and a bland one at that.

What I hate about the cover is how much it makes me not want to watch Snow Angels. The first few times I ran into it I glanced at Beckinsale for a moment, then went on by. After learning David Gordon Green was behind it, director of Pineapple Express and All the Real Girls, I gave the back cover a shot:

Alright. Now we're getting some meat out of this thing. A less completely ambigious portrayal of the movie from the pictures. And pictures with color that hasn't been ruined or wrenched away. Once I looked at the back cover I realized it might be worth giving a shot. So I watched it, and it wasn't all that bad. A few weird moments put a damper on the whole, but it wasn't worth not-watching.

Most disappointing in this cover is the use of color. The film doesn't look gross like the cover. It looks like this:

And kind of like this:

Nice, subdued pastels. And a gun! What's she gonna do with that gun?! Now I'm interested.

- Eric T. Voigt, Manateeeeeee

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